Take action or do thought work & take another action instead? (Follow up on epiphany question)

This is the question I’m considering:
Should I get a job to make sure that I have consistent income instead of being fully reliant on my business to support me before it’s making enough revenue to do that?
Should I use my brain to somehow create more clients and use the time that I would have spent doing that other job on moving the needle in my business//on activities that I strategically choose to pursue in order to build my business?

At some point, should I just say “I’ve tried to find peace of mind via thought work for 2 years while I have been financially reliant on my business/baaarely making ends meet most months. It’s not working. Can I just cheat and get some more money from a job so that I can just feel fucking calm about money for 5 seconds for the first time in my entire life and then just keep building my business from a more calm, stable place?”

I have been using this concept of ~creating clients~ or ~creating more money in my business~ against myself since I started my coaching practice 2 years ago in January of 2020. I’ve been shaming myself that I’m not doing enough even though I work myself TO THE BONE. It’s messed up. I’m working as hard/as much/in the past as frantically as a human can, without as much to show for it as other people in year 2 of their business….and a lot of stress, anxiety, shame, etc. It is constant. Never-ending fear, rumination, extreme anxiety around money and around CLIENTS–I have been working SO hard since enrolling in LCS & in Stacey’s 2kfor2k & learning from the amazing Simone Seoul to find where my people are & how to talk to them in the MOST compelling, irresistible way and I’m still learning. I’ve made money in my business, we’re well past the $100k mark in total revenue, but I have grinded for almost every single client. Almost. Not all, but probably 90% I pretty much had to GO GET. What I want is to just have a large enough pool of interested people who are above the poverty line (legit–so so many applicants just refuse to spend money. Even with discounts. Even when it’s a tiiiiny fraction of the actual price. We’re talking about 75 fucking dollars). Maybe I just need to be okay with having to spend more money advertising if I don’t want to GET every client manually like I have been…….which leads me back to the job thing, but again I don’t know if that’s me being lazy with my mind management or being a responsible goddamn adult who wants to build a truly strong, healthy business and is okay if she has to roll up her sleeves and have a boss again for a year or so in order to do that.

I could manage my mind around not having enough money to pay my bills (????) and try to get a client or whatever in order to keep me going long enough to get the next, and then to invest in some more ads, and then by that time hopefully some of these podcast collabs will have come out and I will be using that organic method of lead gen instead of the paid kind with ads…..but that’s kind of what I’ve been doing. So either I need a HUGE shift in how I’m thinking about this, or I need to get a fucking job for a little while.

I just want to not be so broke. It’s crushing. It’s painful and stressful. I need to actually manage the money that comes in, but it’s hard to do that when every single penny is allocated for a living expense (LCS is my last remaining personal purchase and I refuse to give it up). I want to get a massage more than once a year. I want to go to the grocery store and not spend 2 hours there because I’m trying to find the cheapest everything and looking at all the things I want but can’t buy if I want to pay rent that month. I want to buy clothing–not at a thrift store. I want to pay off my credit card so that I’m not just throwing the interest away every month, never paying down the balance because I can barely pay the interest fee each month. I want to pay my therapist after ghosting her billing department for months. I want to buy gifts for my family. I want to know that everything is covered so that I can actually save.

That was a lot.


Help please. Be brutal, I need it 😉
Cannot wait to read your reply and do any self-coaching/challenging things/anything else that you recommend.
Thank you so much.