Hello! I was wondering if I could get feedback on a model about my dad.
C- Dad says “No. If friends are more important then have Christmas by them.”
T- He is so childish.
A- Don’t reply back to his message/Ignore it, tell my husband about it, defend myself or what we are doing
R- I’m being childish?
I don’t really feel like I’m being childish by what I’m doing, but maybe I am? I also asked myself the question – So what? So what if he is being childish? My brain responded with – He shouldn’t be like that. He should be grateful we are even coming at all.
My dad has been making comments lately about how much time with spend with my side of the family.
Another model is –
C- Dad says “Oh, so you’re only coming for Christmas by us for two days, but you spent four days by Aaron’s family for Thanksgiving. I see how we rank.”
T – He is incorrect.
F – Defensive
A- say to dad – no, that’s not true. Explain myself & our decisions, point out how we’ve been pretty even with time spent with both families, spin in my thoughts
R – ? My thought my not be “He is incorrect.”
I realized I’m not exactly sure what my thought is, but I do go right into trying to explain things to him. He typically makes comments like this quite often. At times it seems like I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t.
I want to allow him to make these comments but not feel frustrated or like I need to explain myself. Thanks!