Hey Brooke,

My 18 year old son is a phenomenal kid. He has been a delighful, fully engaged member of our family who has basically never given us a moment’s worry. We are very close and truly enjoy each other’s company. He gradautes on Saturday from a rigorous independent high school and then will spend the Summer being a counselor at his boyhood sleepaway camp and then off to his first choice college. Hurrah! Successful launch of son #1!

What I am struggling with right now is that he and his friends have been “partying” a lot for the past few months and he has spent tons of time in his room playing video games with his friends (online). So, he’s rarely home and when he is home, he’s not interested in being with the family. Overall, I think this is a super normal part of getting ready to separate. I also feel like it’s kind of a short and unique moment in time to party with all your buddies before they go their separate ways, which I don’t really begrudge. BUT I don’t love all the pot smoking because the community I grew up in on the East Coast was very different from California today. The kids that smoked pot back then were basically losers. Plus, it’s just not great for the developing brain. AND I don’t want him to fall into a long term habit of buffering which I (obviously) don’t think will serve him. I really don’t want to get into a big conflict in the last week that he lives at home but would love to know your thoughts.