2 year old breastfeeding too much

C- 21-month-old breastfeeding 10x/day
T- It’s too much, she shouldn’t be feeding this much.
F- Frustrated
A – I argue with myself and her every time she wants to be fed, deliberating whether I will feed her, I stress over her not eating very much food, sometimes I try to dissuade her and let her cry, which if it goes on for too long I end up feeding her, I ask my husband what he thinks, I research what’s “normal,” I offer her lots of food options
R – ??

I’m not sure exactly what I’m hoping for. On one hand I tell myself that I can just decide to stop feeding her and allow her to cry/tantrum for a while. Part of me believes (because experts say) that this would be traumatic for her.

I had initially thought that I would let her self-wean but I didn’t fully understand what I was dealing with! The other part of me just thinks I should sort out my thinking to allow her to get what she needs until she’s ready to self-wean.

I am concerned that she has stopped eating very much food. Probably because she’s feeding so much. I’m starting to feel resentful because it no longer feels like a decision that I’m making (even though I know it is). I know my husband wants me to continue feeding her.

I guess I just want to get back to feeling like I’m making a decision that I’m happy with, rather than feeling resentful and frustrated.