A Model for a Potential Career

Hello! I have several degrees in writing. My dream has always been to be a writer. Seven years ago I began my first book and then set it down. It’s been three years since I’ve done anything with that book and have since outlined two other books. But, after writing about 60,000 words for each book, I’ve stalled again and have spent the last six months not doing anything with those new projects as well. In the last ten years, I’ve been accepted into one fellowship and have had one piece published in a literary journal. My desire, I think, is to publish books and sit on literary panels and teach in an MFA program, but I have zero career as a writer. Because I have yet to bring this desire to light, I spin out thinking that perhaps this isn’t really what I want and that I should wait until my kids are in high school and try then. Here is my most recent model on this topic:

C-career as a nonfiction writer
T-there is no guarantee that these books will get published. I have no control over whether or not this is a guaranteed career path.
A-I dabble and write here and there, but lack consistency. I don’t finish my work. I don’t submit my work for publication
R-No books get published

I find that when I schedule writing time that I will buffer with anything else in order to avoid writing. Or, if I do sit down to write the thoughts come back to the model above and I feel confused and then frustrated and I find something else to do that produces an instant result, like laundry. Also, if I feel overwhelmed by the task that is writing, and feel there are things for my family that need to be done, I make that the higher priority and skip writing altogether. I’ve gotten a teaching license and a life coaching certification along the way, and so these too prove confusing when I think about what I want to do moving forward. Thank you for your help!