Last night my boyfriend sent me what he thought was a joke on social media. It was actually mean and it hurt my feelings. I then expressed to him that it hurt my feelings he apologized but then he got mad at me for not being able to take a joke. We have not talked since.
My body has always been a sensitive subject to me as I feel like the pressures of this world really try and make women be some type of Barbie and a lot of that is out of our control.
I workout, eat healthy, and there’s only so much I can do with my body.
It frustrates me that he thought that was funny when I felt like it tore me down a little bit and I took it as a negative joke against my body that I didn’t know that’s how he thought about my butt.
This is my model:
C: Boyfriend sends a meme that says “ Why is it that all the girls with no ass treat you right?”
T: I never knew he thought that about my body
A: tell him to not send me things like that again, its mean. Ruminate on what’s wrong with my body. Wonder if I will be loved by someone without having a big butt. Don’t want to be sexy with him because I don’t want him to think negative about my body. Don’t sleep well. Do a thought download and model. Try to talk positive to myself, not really believing it. Try to let it go but am thinking about it more this morning. Judging myself for being too sensitive and not taking it as a joke. Wondering why I cant let it roll off my back. Mad at him for being mad at me. Mad he is still not contacting me. Judging myself and him. Go workout to try and build a bigger butt.
R: Judging my body
How do I get past this, forgive by understanding he was not trying to hurt me, and feel ok with myself? I am in pretty deep with my feelings right now and would love to get through this without being so hard on myself. With more confidence and compassion.