Action & thought work

Ok, so I’m really in this place of taking the action, though my mind is struggling.
I figured I’d see what thought work could be done after and maybe some of the struggle will have dissipated…

Basically, I’m an athlete and had major health/spiritual stuff happen in March for months & months, so I could not train for a long period of time.

So, my mind is afraid that I’m too far off and won’t have what I had before, a feeling of being behind and I was really gaining ground last year – so I guess it is so obvious.
T- I won’t get these tricks, I’m behind
(I’ll separate them on paper)
F – paralyzed/afraid? (Do you have any ideas on F? I don’t even know what it is – avoidance maybe?
A – not train, buffer, not show up
R – didn’t get tricks

So – duh, if I don’t show up, definitely won’t get them but I think I’m afraid to train because I’ll see how far off I am from where I was.

And I worked really diligently to get to where I was and the health crisis was involuntary – so I typically don’t not train – no matter what…

So I guess that’s the real fear – which doesn’t have to be a big deal – it just sucks I guess…..

Any help??
And I am training today period. Fear and all. Ugh. Lol.