Allowing emptiness

I have gained back some of the weight I had lost 2 yrs ago. In examining this, I realized that struggling with food is what feels more normal to me. When I would even have a day on protocol there would be this light almost empty feeling as well as some excitement at actually “winning” and not overeating. Then I would sabotage and just eat something for example at 8pm when I had almost done what I had set out to do which is eat on plan.
C day on protocol
T I feel too light and empty
F uncomfortable
A eat off protocol
R I feel heavy again with struggle

C day on protocol
T I can invite even emptiness in
F allowing
A just sit with feeling. Don’t act out from lower brain
R I invite in my ideal of myself.

Do you have any feedback on this?
Thank you!