My partner and I have been discussing our future life together. Kids, marriage, house, I’m certain he’s my guy.

But then it comes to moving in and I feel hesitant. I think maybe I need to do more exploring with him first to make sure we are set up for success. I’ve been burned in the past by moving too quickly. I know I will move in; I just haven’t decided when. He told me there’s no rush, whenever I’m ready.

I recognize my boundaries are better now, my partner is night and day different and I’m 10 years older than I was when I entered the other relationship. He’s my second real relationship and I want it to last.

C: Decision as to when to move in with partner.
T. I need to do more exploring with him
F. Hesitant
A. Waffle. Listen to and discuss podcasts with him, try and plan out all the possible worst-case scenarios, look for potential signs that he might be unsure about the relationship
R. I explore in circles, don’t move forward

I want to want to. I want to be all in, and certain I’m doing the right thing. I also don’t think this is a time to “just decide it’s right then do it” that feels inauthentic.

And I know that my future self needs me to be sure before I move in. I don’t want to look back and question if I did the best I could with what I had.

Please help.