My question is about my marriage.
My husband fell in love with another woman, with whom nothing physical has happened yet, but the feelings were strong. He then felt lost and needed to leave me and cut off all contact with the other one in order to isolate himself and to think clearly and rebuild himself.
We also had big problems as a couple obviously, these things don’t happen by chance (bad communication and deep misunderstandings) which had led us to an impasse. He wished to leave me while we still love each other very much (but badly).
That put a kick in the anthill, we each saw shrinks, started a couple therapy and in the end, we realize that this horrible apocalypse allowed us to work on ourselves and evolve better.
Today, three months after the beginning of this tsunami, my husband tells me that he wishes we could get back together in a few months, that he believes in it more and more, that he is more and more certain of his love for me and less and less of his love for the other woman.
In my heart, I think from the beginning that we are linked for life, that we love each other too much to separate, that this huge painful crisis was necessary because we were at a terrible dead end, that the other woman was only a mirage and a detonator, but that yes, we are soul mates and that we will eventually find each other again – provided we have really evolved and settled important things.
My problem is this: according to a friend of mine, who is shrink, so her opinion carries some weight, it would be absurd to “take back” my husband when he has been in love with another woman. That it would be to let him walk all over me, to be a doormat without pride or respect for myself. But if he loves me and has strayed and that was our path, I don’t think that, I tell myself that it has happened in many couples (and even we have not been “physically” deceived, even if the feelings are somehow even stronger, it is true), In short, we wouldn’t be the first one to get back together after a thing like that, and if my husband does everything to win me back, if I still love him and we overcome this crisis, if we evolve, if we grow, I don’t feel like disrespecting myself or being a weak person without self-esteem…? But am I delusional? And weak?
And if I’m talking to you, it’s because I don’t know how to get a Model and an intelligent reflection out of it… I’m lost.
I know you could tell me to follow my own thought and not others. But I’m not sure of anything coming from my heart and my brain after those months…
Thank you!! And sorry for the length of this message.