to my ex’s new wife whom i have seen no more than 10 times in a social setting. he told my kids i’m mean to her & it is hurtful to her. i am normally”bubbly” and when i talk to her i keep it brief. i like my reasons, the main one being a boundary that i don’t want to chit-chat or make small talk w her (or anyone i don’t like!) so i keep it short and cordial-not bubbly-as has been requested. but, now my kids care & know @“ the drama”.
part of me is like, so what, that’s ok. they can deal. (21,20&16) and then i am also aiming for my best version-that best version believes i hold all my own power and i can be nice (or neutral) to everyone. here’s the question—when i think i may “have” to talk to her it makes me cringe. mostly, because i feel like i’m doing something i dont want to -it feels door mat like. so-i have work to do…or do i? do i have work to do or is this someone else’s prob? 😜
c: she is wherever
t: i don’t like her
f: anxiety or annoyed
a: i act neutral
r: i am good w myself for being cordial but kids and they are “hurt”
c: she is there
t: it’s nice she makes my ex happy ??
f: neutral or happy
a: whatever comes out of me
r: i stay happy throughout event and feel good about myself…