Ate too much, Ate too little

Hi. I am a double diamond making progress on overeating and restriction, I have a history of emotional eating and underweight. I am realizing more and more how much time I spend in my brain with the two following thoughts, which typically arise at night after dinner and arise whether I have a defined protocol or not (I like to not have it always defined, often I like to be guided by the hunger scale)
I ate too much, I’ll put on fat -> dejected -> pinch my belly, argue with it, beat me up
I ate too little, I’ll lose muscle -> worried -> re-assess hunger scale to see if it is real hunger or not
R (for both cases): great waste of time and mental energy
I believe I am allowing urges, but still I don’t see the frequency of these two thoughts slowing down. I am still so much into this internal chatter that the vast majority of people around me do not have. Could you suggest why this is the case and how can more effectively move beyond this scheme? Thanks