Avoiding Thought Work

I discovered thought work around 6 months ago. At first, I was doing thought downloads and models every day and looking forward to the practice. But lately, I’ve noticed that I procrastinate and avoid doing my thought work. I’ll watch call replays and listen to podcast episodes, but I don’t do the work, even if it’s in my calendar. I think I’m trying to avoid feeling a feeling. I have the thought “it’s going to be painful.”

C. Calendar says thought work is scheduled between 5 and 6 pm. It’s now 4:50pm
T. “It’s going to be painful”
F. Dread
A. Don’t start doing thought work on the topics I had planned to work on, do thought work on not doing thought work instead, buffer with coaching call replays, go on Etsy, read the news, eat honey, tell myself I’ll do it later but don’t schedule it in the calendar, don’t sit there and try to just feel the feelings of dread in my body
R. I make doing thought work “painful” only because of my thoughts

This thought is not serving me,. and I would like to work on it. I think the issue here is that I have the thoughts “I should look forward to doing thought work” because I have the thought that this used to be the case in the past i.e “wanting to thought work came naturally.” I’m resisting that this is no longer the case and trying to make it mean something. Could you help me out?