Hi Brooke,

I lost contact with the homework on November 11th.

– Here are my Circumstances :
I was abroad to teach 2 workshops on abuses ; I spent time answering questions at the end of the second one ; then we (with my husband) headed home ; met road works, heavy traffic ; we (took an Action) stopped to eat (with the Thought 🙂 hopping for the traffic to get better ; the traffic got better until the rain pourred all the remaining of the way, making the traffic slow once more – we arrived a lot later than expected (Thought). I think all of this is part of the Circumstances of what comes next.

– Here are my Thoughts (my favorite ones!) :
I had in mind doing my homework after dinner, but we came home so late… and now I am soooooo tired that I am way too tired, I won’t even be able to think straight. It is too late anyway (or early). I’ll catch up tomorrow…

– My feelings :
Extremly tired ; disappointed (too tired to be angry at things which didn’t work my way) ; discouraged ; hopeless ; ready for giving up

=> Action and bed : 1 – Results and homework : 0

Day 12 :
C : I did not do my homework last night
T : (In the morning) Now I have to catch up and I have so many things I want to write down… I will never be able to get it done ; it seems like a mountain.
T : (In the evening) …………..
F : Still very tired ; overwhelmed ; numb ;
A : Well, in fact Inaction because I forgot altogether
R : At that point, I lost the habit that was not completly hooked on

Then I got myself into much studying and training, lots of ideas for a new little business… I was full of energy… for something else ! again too tired at night.

December came with a new booklet. I loved the idea of preparing to fail and worked up to page 32 for a few days, then my mother-in-law passed away. She was a growing experiences provider to me !!!! Even though I (and many others in the family) felt relief, there was much to think about, talk, plan, rearrange. So again my homework slipped my mind.

This is the story of my life : things don’t stay in the top priority very long before “something” comes my way and robs my attention and energy. When I actually am too tired or fear to become too tired, I tend to give up my goals to protect my sleeping time so I don’t go into burnout again.
A thought download and a model or two would be appropriate at this point, but my little dinosaur inside tells me I will surely die, comes up with lots of excuses I can recognize, in which I drown myself. So it feels like too much, too overwhelming and I withdraw. I hate myself for that and don’t know how to get out of it, or don’t want to, even though I want to !!!

HELP !

Because you take my money each month, I recommit. I could stop anytime, you said, but I want your help and allow myself to screw up until I can succeed.
The amazing thing is that the October decluttering is still working on me. I “had” to empty more wardrobes and cupboards and give away more things. I even thought of rearranging all the 1st floor to make it beautiful to live in…

Thanks for your comments and have a beautiful year 2018, with plenty of rich experiences and learning,

Annie