Beating myself up for not being “busy enough!”

I don’t think I’m busy enough. I know this is just a thought but it seems like everyone I know is always on the go. I, on the other hand have a lot of free time and I just don’t feel compelled to go go go! I’ve always been this way. I think, “we’ll I’m a chill person” but then my other thought is, “no you’re not, you’re lazy!”
Maybe I am a chill person. What I want is to really be ok with that instead pretending I am but beating myself up behind my back.
Any suggestions?
Thank you