Being brave and having a better opinion of myself

Hi Brooke

I’ve never had a relationship with anyone before as I’m scared of being hurt and have trust issues. I was abused my brother as a child and grew up an Indian culture so my parents try to set me up with a suitable partner from the same religion but I haven’t met anyone I like yet so far. I feel anxious and worried, I’ll never find anyone especially someone who my parents approve of. It doesn’t matter to me if they are from the same religion or not so I’ve decided whilst doing SCS I would be brave and decide to put my own happiness first before my parents wishes. Anyways I like my personal trainer but I’m not sure if he likes me too or is just playing games with me. I did a thought download about I was scared or worried about – first of all my worries about overeating surfaced but then it was about how I like this trainer too much, I need to be careful and protect myself as there’s no way he could actually like me, I’m nothing special, I’m ugly, not pretty, not good enough, there’s nothing special about me, I’m boring, I’m not fun or interesting, he’s just messing me around as he’s bored or he wants the satisfaction of knowing I like him so he can feel good about himself, there’s way he could like me as I’m not likeable or lovable, why would he be into me, I’ve got nothing good about me, I’m setting myself up for a fall, I will get hurt and my heart broken the more I talk to him and think there’s a chance he does like me too. I’m stupid for thinking he might like me, guys aren’t interested in girls like me, I’m damaged, messed up and broken inside. I need to keep my guard up and protect myself and stop hoping and dreaming he might like me too cause it’s not going to happen

I need some bridge thoughts or help in general cause I tried to do the model on I’m nothing special or likeable/loveable as I tell that story to myself with when I meet friends or go to social events. I isolated myself from my friends a bit when I was overeating as I was scared to go out and eat but I’ve overcome that now but I feel like I don’t have as many friends now and I’m not as interesting as other people cause I don’t have a boyfriend like they do and I don’t go out as much, that their lives are more fun and interesting cause of that and I’m just going to the gym and working on stopping my overeating most days after work. I couldn’t think of a thought I believed for the intentional model and any other ideas you have to help me would much appreciated x