While trying to explain to someone about the power of not complaining and instead focusing on what you want, he asked how you get to know someone and what they are going through and create more intimacy if you aren’t able to have a discussion about what’s going on that needs change in your life. He said for instance, say my hot water is not working and it has been out for weeks and the landlord won’t fix it. And how would someone advocate for themselves if they can’t discuss it with people. I tried to explain the difference between discussing it minimally with someone who can do something about it, however many times are necessary and escalating as necessary to the proper body of people to get it taken care vs discussing it over and over with anyone who will listen in a complainy sort of way. He said if something like that was going on in my life he would want to know and it would allow him to see what I’m going through and would create more intimacy. I said, sure tell one person really close to you once but to not have the discussion over and over and with everyone in your life. Is there more I could have said to explain the difference?