Betrayal of my body and self hatred

I feel like my body has betrayed me with being infertile and other health conditions that cause joint pain…I despise it in fact. I cannot move as well as I used to. I have lots of anxiety, fear and overthinking/ anxiety and overwhelm with trusting myself and my body and my hunger signals even. I am consumed by self-blame. I think about that thought model and I am not sure how to even begin to turn these thoughts around. Can you walk me through how to begin?