Story Time!
My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago, the last month we have been speaking trying to work on things for us. We are in a long distance relationship. His birthday is coming up and I sent a text offering to fly to him to celebrate his birthday and show him some love.

To me this was a big deal for me to extend such an offer if we are not back together But I wanted to show him love and care and why not if we are working on things?
He responded to my text saying” birthdays are not a big deal to him”. We text back and forth and I ended it on, “ok, I will leave it alone and wait to hear from you on if you want me there for your birthday whether we celebrate or not.”
He responded “ok :)”

Here comes my overthinking and worry. I immediately feel rejected and want to end things with him. Why would I want to be with someone who would not want me there for his birthday? I was there last year from his birthday, and we had a great time. Why not now?

Unintentional Model
C: I text him I would celebrate with him for his birthday if he wanted. He said ok thank you.
T: he does not want me there
F: rejected
A: overthink, feel sick, anxiety, stress, worry, want to shut down, want to end it, shame. Regret asking, do a model, ask so what
R: realize I had strings attached to my offer, prove my thought.

Unintentional Model
C: same
T: I should not have asked
F: shameful
A: retreat, shame, overthink, do model, regret asking, judge myself, mad at him, not as happy or kind to him or me.
R: don’t ask again, Closed off!

Intentional Model
C: Same
T: He may say no but I’m still glad I offered
F: confident
A: stay open, don’t take it personal, understand that it’s not about me, I would be a good time. Still made him feel good, I didn’t sit in fear.
R: Acting out of confidence. True to my highest self.

My Manual for him is that he should feel lucky to have me there since I could be out of his life, he should want to have me there, He should also not take long to think about because it is a no brainer.
My Manual for me is that I should not want to be with a man who would turn down an offer like this, I should know my worth and value more than to go back to an ex and put in effort he is possibly rejecting.
I’m doing better than I would have before SCS but I feel reactions inside brewing up. I am sad and out of fear of hurt I do want to end it with him because of how I feel right now. What do I do?