Blame and feelings

I understand logically the blame podcast and how I am the only one who can make my thoughts. But it feels almost not human to think someone can have an action which impacts me and be like while I’m not going to feel angry or a negative feeling about their action.
I’m helping my kids with the details of buying their home. I usually feel appreciated because they ask me for my help and input. I did send some models on this yesterday.
Without getting into the details I basically arranged with 3 independent parties regarding the house which was not an easy feat. They asked me to do this and I was happy to do it. The problem is when I reach out for a simple yes or no answer from my kids on something that impacts 4 other peoples schedules ( 3 contractors, me. And someone to cover my work responsibilities ) they don’t respond until it’s good for them. They can be very self absorbed. I got very angry with my daughter and son in law this morning for being so self absorbed without giving others the consideration of responding timely or at all until I bug them. The bottom line is I have decided to remove myself from their home buying and help with my experience in homes.
Here’s my issue. I feel like it’s unnatural not to feel and express my emotions and I would not have these feelings if not for their actions or lack of actions. Am I just to be like “oh I don’t want to feel angry or upset so their actions will not let me think negative thoughts? “ that doesn’t feel natural plus I kinda wanted to feel angry and let them know that their self absorbed ways affect many people. I did tell them that and expressed my anger and continued to feel that way. Now I’m not getting involved and hope at some point today I can let this all go.
Thoughts and or model help?
Thanks R