I want to learn how to appropriately set boundaries at work.

My Project Manager can create a lot of chaos in his communication in a way I don’t think he even realizes is counter productive to the entire team. For example: blowing us off with non answers, checking his email while we are speaking with him, being unwilling to meet with the team to plan things out. Then when we move forward without him, he will come in and disrupt with major decisions that scramble things around. I’m not sure how to address it with him. I have to really work to neutralize his behavior and see it isn’t really as major as I am thinking it to be. Deep down I believe strongly that these behaviors are counter productive to the overall work flow of the team.

Similarly the IT guy at our office has endless rules for us. If we over step we are immediately reprimanded. This feels like he has a manual for me! Every time I mess up it just makes me more on edge and more likely to mess up again. It’s a cycle.

I have been focusing on trying to show up and do my very best work since I heard your podcast “Being a Good Employee”, and to stop thinking about these things. However, on a intense day it can be challenging. I also hear you on letting adults be adults — “The manual”. Can I set boundaries at work? And if so, how?