Boundary issue or problem with manual?

Hi Brooke,
When my father in law last visited our house at Xmas, he sat on the sofa the entire time with his earphones glued to his head, looking at his I Pad. He didn’t lift a finger to help and expected to be waited on hand and foot. I don’t mind so much if he is like this anywhere else but I found it difficult to deal with in our home when everyone else was pulling their weight. I became really angry and upset when he walked into the house with muddy shoes (knowing that we take our shoes off) and was rude to me when I asked him to take his shoes off. He is due to visit in a couple of weeks and I am unsure of what to do if he behaves like this again.

I have written up the following models
C: FIL visiting
T: He was such an asshole last time he was here
F: Angry
A :Decide not to say anything because I don’t want to ruin relationship with him and our children
R: Seethe inwardly and not want him to visit again

Intentional model
C: FIL visiting
T: He is entitled to behave however he likes. I have no control over his behaviour (But does this become a boundary issue if this is occuring in our home?)
F: Neutral
A :Ask him to help out a bit more with no expectations, calmly ask him not to speak to me like that if he is rude
R: Accept him for who he is

I am confused as to whether this is a boundary issue, part of me thinks it might be easier just not invite him to our home and just visit him but I also do not want to jeopardise my children’s relationship with him or my MIL who I adore.