Today, I listened to Brooke’s podcast “Being Coached” and it came to me at a perfect time – it is amazing how the universe works:)
Three years ago my teenage daughter asked if she could see a therapist so that she can have someone to talk to about the difficulties my other daughter was having and how it was impacting her and our home.
Three years later I find myself in the “therapy trap” – my daughter does not need therapy (and certainly not with this one) yet this therapist (much like the first coach Brooke had) is trying to keep the relationship going and is not making it easy for us to end. I have told the therapist and my daughter we are taking a break for the summer. My daughter has two more sessions left until the summer. In the meantime, I am trying to keep her busy with the hope that she can feel more empowered and not so reliant on this therapist – ex. mentors, pilates, martial arts, yoga, etc. I also think it would be great if she had a coach vs. therapist – the problem is that she is convinced her therapist is the only person in the whole world that she can talk to. And this is where I need help – how do I get out of this trap? Questions: #1. My husband wants to cancel now because he feels (and I agree) that it is a waste of time and money ($250 per session) and that the more my daughter goes the more reliant/obligated she feels. #2 Can I end it with this therapist sooner – do I make it one more session instead of two or bite the bullet and just wait until summer and more importantly #3 I have shared with my daughter that there are many people she can have as part of her “wise counsel” and that she owes it to herself to at least try other options (i.e. a coach) and that if she wants regular on going therapy (which she does not need) then we will have to find a more local and affordable option. She is very attached to this therapist – probably because she likes having someone to talk to and one that will agree with everything that she says without challenging her – it could also be that my daughter lacks the maturity and motivation. One more comment – my other daughter receives a ton of support and services and I wonder if this one feels that this is her way of getting attention even though I do so much with her. Any suggestions on how to get us unstuck and preserve/strengthen what I consider to be a beautiful relationship even in the teen years would be greatly appreciated.