^buffering against love

hi Brooke

I’m on day 7 of no buffering and feeling it. I’m finding it quite hard to relax and sleep.

Anyhow last night I did a connecting to heart exercise and in the last few days I’ve been lifting my meditation quality and practising joy. It appears that what I’ve been buffering so hard against isn’t anxiety – I’ve already got plenty of that – it’s love. I was quite surprised, but I’ve started to notice feelings arising and I think they are love. Like when I listened to yesterday’s entrepreneur webinar and felt uplifted and i thought i need to be able to do that for myself. And I felt that as love and compassion. Also last night, I felt in to my heart and love was there.

I haven’t had very good modelling for love in my life. It’s always been dangerous.

Interestingly I really enjoy practicing Reiki every day, and what’s that if not love?

I modelled on my unwillingness to feel love.

T: love is too difficult an emotion to feel
F: anxiety, isolation, fear
A: tidy away any possibility of feeling love
R: feel pretty glum and cut off

T: love is always in me and it’s perfectly fine for me to feel it
F: love, compassion, acceptance
A: slow down and be a bit more me
R: ?

Need a bit of help on that model please