Here’s my dilemma. In the past, my now 44 year old son and I did not get along. He has no filter and will judge and criticize any statement or action he doesn’t like, mostly mine. I used to get defensive, but now I either own it or ignore it, so neither of us get that defensive lately and the conversation moves on, and our relationship has gotten so much better. Over the phone, it’s easy for me to do that, but when I see him in July I’m hoping I can do that in person OR… If I can be so present in the moment it happens and it will, can I kindly say…” Whoa, what was your thought you just had before you said that to me ( or your feeling)?” I’m usually not that present and get stunned by unkind words and say nothing.
Can I do the Model on him, or it just for me? I want to also say… “You know you don’t have to say everything you think, right, especially, if it’s not kind?”
What do you think?