can’t forgive myself

I’ve been in Scholars since August and it has been so life-changing. I’ve accomplished things I never ever dreamed I could. I’ve lost about 15 pounds, 7 more to go, bought my dream car that I was always afraid to buy because I didn’t deserve it (but we paid off our mortgage in July and had enough saved for the car so my husband said he wanted me to have it), I wake up almost every day so excited to begin the day, LOVE doing the homework even when it’s difficult. I have been focusing on the Stop Overeating program, but while doing that I eliminated alcohol from my daily journey since I didn’t like the results I was getting from that, and alcohol isn’t convenient when you are eating in a 12-6 window.

The other day, everything stressful in my life converged in one day and I just completely lost my mind, overdrank without even thinking about it, scared my son to death because he loves me and didn’t want to see me that way. I’m so humiliated and embarrassed. I have NOT been doing drink plans for the above mentioned reasons, and I definitely feel like my life is SO MUCH BETTER without alcohol. I’ve done the learn and move on exercise, it’s the moving on part I’m having trouble with. I feel like I’m the only person this has ever happened to, and don’t even feel like I deserve to have my amazing kids. I know this is extreme thinking, but I’ve only been in Scholars for two months and clearly have a long way to go. I don’t know how to forgive myself for mistakes, especially giant ones like this one.