I need some help with a believable thought model for next week. I am traveling to see my mom and she always has a “cocktail hour” before dinner. Things like cheese and crackers, pita chips & dip, and sometimes veggies and dip, but it is a daily ritual and she will rotate through the above food.
We see each other 1x/year, I will be there for 4 nights and the cocktail hour of the day feels like being home, comforting and enjoyable while it’s happening. But the aftermath is filled with shame and regret because I always overeat and only stop when the food is gone.
I want to tell myself to skip the appetizers because it’s hard to stop at just 1 or 2 bites, I usually end up saying f*ck-it, overeat and then feel terrible afterward. But on the other hand, if I abstain, then this feels too restrictive and also leads to f*ck-it eating off the rails. There are just 3 of us, so it’s obvious if I don’t partake and since we don’t see each other often, I don’t want to disappoint. So mixed in with all of this is some people-pleasing as well, and when I put that thought in the model, it feels like an excuse for my own actions.
I will be there for 4 nights, so plenty of opportunities to work through this. Can you help with my models below? The intentional one doesn’t feel believable and I have doubt of following it through before even giving it a chance.
Unintentional:
C: Cocktail Hour with 3 people x 4 nights
T: I always overeat
F: Helpless, out of control
A: Negotiate with myself “Just one more bite” and then re-negotiate another bite and so on. Eat faster, the quicker the food is gone, the quicker I don’t have to make a decision to eat or re-negotiate another bite.
R: Overeat, eat too quickly to even enjoy the food
Intentional:
C: Cocktail Hour with 3 people x 4 nights
T: I will eat 2 pieces (sampling) of what is being served.
F: Satisfied (on all levels; not feeling restricted or deprived, not disappointing my mom)
A: Add 2 pieces of whatever is being served to my daily plan, eat them slowly and enjoy.
R: I only eat 2 pieces and move on
