Cold Feet

I am a coach for young adults with learning differences and their families. I also teach self-determination at the university for students with disabilities.

I just applied for disability from my work due to vision issues. As I am planning lessons to leave for my replacement, I realize that these spring courses are the ones I love the most (e.g., vision board creation, goal setting). I have been using my 20 minute coaching session for the last several weeks working through the doubts and conflicting messages in my head about filing for disability and leaving the semester half-way through.

I was excited about the total sense of freedom I had yesterday after I filed and today, working on these lesson plans, I am having second thoughts and am not sure of the best way to move forward. Since I am a yearly contracted person, if I don’t file for disability this month, my contract will end and I will not get the disability money.

C: Filed for disability from work
T: I should be there to teach my students. It’s what I do.
F: sad, grieving
A: Pouting, inactivity
R: Head swirling, talking to myself about changing my mind

C: Filed for disability from work
T: I’ll just stay until the end of the semester and don’t care if I don’t get the disability money
F: Angry at my husband for saying I should keep with my plan for the money
A: Want to start a fight about money
R: Distracting me from creating the lesson plans