Confusion about something from this week’s coaching call

Hi! We just finished the live coaching call with Brooke, and I’m struggling to process something about the last session with Marcelle. I’d love some further discussion since I’m probably missing something. I just joined scholars so these deeper concepts are new.

I’ve listened to 2 podcasts in the past week with Brooke where she talks about people pleasing, the negative impact of being “people pleased,” and how people pleasers are liars so it harms relationships and boundaries. That all made total sense to me.

Marcelle used an example where she and her husband were both technically right and were being stubborn about winning an argument. Apologizing to her husband to nurture the relationship totally makes sense. My husband and I have been in couples therapy (super helpful for communication) and our therapist has drilled in the idea that “the one who apologizes first wins.” It has definitely helped us listen and see each other’s perspective so we communicate better.

Here’s where I’m now stuck trying to take in everything so I make sure I doing the thought work correctly. What’s the difference between being a people pleaser and agreeing that you’re wrong to nurture the relationship? Again, this doesn’t apply to Marcelle’s example.

I understand why both angles are beneficial, yet the two concepts seem to be conflicting. I’d love some additional clarity! Thanks so much 🙂