Quick recap: I wanted to lose weight and write a book this year and wasn’t doing either one. My brain wanted to switch the goal (the book writing) I had committed to and done all the work for in December. You told me to do two models on both the weight and the writing & that it was a good opportunity to see how my brain works.
You were right!
The thoughts that I came up with were 100% the cause of my suffering, but I don’t even agree with them consciously. They are extremely childish. Can you check my models and the new ones and see if I have it figured out?
T: No one else does this, I shouldn’t have to and don’t want to.
A: I don’t follow protocol.
R: I don’t lose weight.
T: I am not like everyone else. I do hard things.
A: I stick to protocol.
R: I lose weight and have a body that not many people have.
T: I shouldn’t have to do things I don’t feel like doing.
A: I don’t write.
R: I don’t reach my goals
T: I only do things I want to do. I want to write a book.
A: I always stick to my scheduled plan and write.
R: I write a book.
Thank you for your help! I think it is so interesting that in both instances, it was the same feeling of defiance. It reminds me of when I was a bratty 12 year old and my mom would ask me to do the dishes and I would do them — but only after I did something I wanted to do, like finishing my TV show. Emotional childhood for sure!