Constraint focus – relationship or career switch, after divorce


Brooke,

I’m the one with husband asking for divorce and having a baby with another woman after 7 years of marriage to me. Thank you for your thoughtful response, it helped me a lot! I read it every day and it helps me go through.

I was also in the beginning/middle of making a career switch. I’m currently a software engineer making very good money, and I began being a women’s sexuality coach – I already led 3 group workshops and made my first money. My plan was to transition full time to women’s sexuality coach in 2-3 years. Sure, I have thoughts of being a fraud, now that my relationship is dismantling. But I what I teach isn’t claiming to make your relationships work, just your own sexuality and pleasure and relationship with your own body, and I can definitely give value related to that. And I’m sure in the long run, I’ll learn a lot from this divorce, and I’ll be able to add to my skillset as a women’s sexuality coach even more value.

How do I choose what to focus on next? You say to focus on one big goal at a time. Do I focus on rebuilding my life in my personal relationship area? Do I stay focused on just the ‘career switch’? Is it ‘possible’ (do you recommend?) to do both at the same time?
Mentioning I’m 35 and want to have kids in this lifetime. There’s still some time for me to do that, but not that much.