Thank you for your answer – great observations on how I avoided, resisted, and reacted to the rage. My question now is how do I create an intentional model of allowing the rage? I’m not sure what actions to put…does it look like this? (I also am making the C more specific to what enrages me, so it looks a little different this time :).
C: A consultant I trusted used an outside offer to get hired at a higher position than 90% of department coworkers and the reasoning she used to justify this has varied over time.
T: I can’t believe I didn’t see how deceitful and manipulative she is before.
A: Allow the feeling of rage. Journal, draw, and other hobbies. Cry. Accept that I’m angry and look for other jobs.
Here’s another attempt:
C: A coworker complained about our manager and told me she demanded a promotion using a counter-offer so she wouldn’t have to work for him, but now that she’s been promoted, she speaks positively about him.
T: Wow, that’s pretty rich that she’s shaming me for thinking something she supposedly used to get promoted. I don’t even trust her whether she ever disliked him, or if she just said that to pit me against him and make me look bad. I never want to work closely with her again.
A: Allow feeling of rage. Accept that I do not like the situation. Allow myself to be upset. Allow myself to want to be treated better at work or by a coworker I trusted.
Or maybe this is how to construct this model — switch up what’s in the thought line
C: I notice a feeling of rage when I think about the circumstances of my coworker’s promotion.
T: I choose to allow this feeling.
A: Spend time reflecting. Consider what feeling feels like. Not commit to any external actions to change or not change the situation yet.
R: I reinforce that how I respond to external circumstances are in my control.