As I am learning how to actually feel and allow my feelings anew after being on anxiety meds for 17 years, I am actively practicing allowing my feelings. Here’s my current dilemma in trying to wrap my mind around these concepts:
C – Husband said “I guess you should have worn pants”
T- He should just give me a hug like I asked
F- hurt
A- go to bathroom, cry, attempt to allow the hurt, judge him, wish things were different
R- I judge what he should do

Here’s my thing… whilst in the action line and in the attempt to allow the hurt and recognizing why I was feeling hurt, I think I’m jumping back and forth in between models as I practice.

It is obvious that if I were angry and my action was “yell” that ” yelling” is a reaction and not an allowance of the feeling. So, in this case, is crying also a reaction rather than an allowance? I feel like part of holding space is giving the time for that back and forth as I learn the skill of allowing and experiencing any and all feelings. But, most people would say that crying or laughing for that matter is feeling their feelings.

Please help me understand the distinctions here. Thank you.