My Current Emotional Truth

Since I joined Scholars I’ve realized that I find ways to avoid doing my creative work through overeating.

The great news is that through the tools you offer and through daily thought download, I found the exact times of day when I do that and linked it to my fear to be creative.

So I have awareness of the problem (I overeat because of fear of creativity), and its cause (I have fearful thoughts that it might not be good and that since I’ve never done this before, there’s a gap between my goal and my current capabilities), and so I also have the idea of the solution, which is, if I could only change my thought, then I could be creative.

On days when I manage to allow the emotional fear be there and not answer it with food, I am still unable to create. I only manage to stop the buffer. And I just sit with it. So while I stop one damage (gaining weight), I still am unable to produce anything.

When I try to ladder thoughts like: I am willing to consider that other people managed to do it / Other people everywhere in the world are being unafraid and creative now / I try to teach myself that creativity is nothing to fear about – none of them makes me take a pen and be creative.

Am I missing a stage in the process?