Hi Brooke,

I started dating someone R a few weeks ago and we have always had a good time together. But then I realized that he wasn’t making the effort that I expect and basically I wouldn’t hear from him in between dates. I mentioned to him that I would like more communication and effort on his part, but nothing really changed. So I ended up breaking it off with him (in my mind) and kinda moved on. I’ve been going out on dates with other people and haven’t thought about him too much.

Well R got in touch recently and wants to see me again. And at first, I was just kind of yeah whatever but then I thought maybe I should give him another chance. My question is should I not have written him off and maybe I could change my thinking about him. I tend to be kind of rigid with men and if I’m not treated the way I expect to be treated, I move on quickly. However, I’m wondering if I should rethink this situation and maybe change my thoughts instead of just writing him off? My underlying thoughts are: I’m going to hold on for someone better who treats me well and we have a great time together. R and I do have a great time together but he doesn’t “treat me well” but now I’m questioning that thought/assumption.

This is definitely messing with my habitual habits and thoughts about men and dating so this possibility of seeing him so differently feels really strange and uncomfortable…

Thanks for any feedback!