I am back to pre-baby weight. and BMI of 24, which is pretty good. But during lockdown, no takeaways, no restaurants – had to queue to supermarket – and I couldn’t be bothered to queue, minimal food in the house – I got down to BMI 21 – and man, that feeling of lightness was awesome. Didn’t last though, now there is no more lockdown, life is back to normal, except overseas travel.

I went back up to BMI 24. I have been watching the stop overeating videos. And I have decided I will follow it! so yesterday, after dinner, no chocolate, no rice crackers. And it’s amazing what came up. I was looking at the dishes in the kitchen “I can’t handle this. I want to nibble”. Because nibbling wasn’t allowed, I was so overcome with the “I can’t handle this”. Then my kids were playing up and “I can’t handle this. I just want to hide in the kitchen and eat” But then the eating wasn’t allowed.

C- dishes
T- I can’t handle this
F- incapable
A- I would have eaten chocolates (except for the commitment so I didn’t last night). I left the kitchen and not doing any clean up. I cried.
R- I am not handling my thoughts

C- kids talking to each other
T- I can’t handle being a Mum
F- hopeless
A- I would have eaten lots in the kitchen (except for the commitment). I was grumbling in a low scolding way to my eldest for 15 mins. I went to sleep as an escape.
R- I am not present as a mum

I am trying on
T- “God is giving me strength to do all things”
F- capable
A- no buffering. clean up house and be present for kids ( I know I’m combining models – but they are both very similar)
R- I am showing up