Homework is to write down things that were great about yesterday, and then what wasn’t great about yesterday. How can I change it in my mind to make it great. How can you tell the story so it truly was good.
Had lots of good elements to my day. At dinner, my husband invited me to dinner with himself and his business partners. I can’t go, because I’ll be out of town. But the negative stories in my mind started churning and I had a hard time stopping the thought loop. I responded by recognizing I was telling stories I don’t like, and trying to come up with things I’d rather think. But I’m not fast at this, so my husband noticed something was bothering me and asked. I knew he wouldn’t want to hear my stories, because they were stories I don’t even like, so I told him I was fine. Which he didn’t believe, and knows it went back to bringing up the dinner/work. So I caught myself, but not before inserting drama into our evening.
C- Husband invites me (wife of a partner but not one) to dinner where he and active partner are going to tell spouse (inactive partner) about two offers to buy the company, which I can’t attend because I’ll be out of town
T- Think I’d be upset at not knowing about offers when they came up
F – Left out (even though it’s not even me!)
A – get quiet, tell myself stories about an employee favorite of his partner probably already knowing, wonder if they’ll give her big bonus when they sell, want a bonus if they sell, ask husband to change dinner so I can go (even though I know it’s not plausible), fall into thought loop of all the times I’ve felt left out in regards to work
R – Have miserable evening and don’t appreciate being invited
C – same
T- Wow, he’s inviting me to come so I must be important to the process
F – included
A – say I can’t come, but thanks anyway, tell him I’m proud of his work with offers and building a company two entities want to buy, smile, listen to him tell about details of offers or whatever else he wants to share
R – feel included and valued
How do I quickly switch from the ugly thoughts my brain loves to tell and to a more intentional model before I cause tension with other people? Do I tell my husband I’m having a hard time with the stories my brain is coming up with but that I’m working on switching it up? Tired of causing drama.