On Day 3 of the May / Relationships workbook, it asks the following question: “Allow them to be who they are meant to be. Who are they? What do they do? How do they act? What are they consistent in? When you aren’t trying to control them who are they in their actions?”

I’m confused by the words “meant to be”. Do you mean – who they are right now? The person I am working on is my husband, and when I think of who he is “meant to be” – I think he is “meant” to write the book he has been talking about writing for years (but has only ever written an outline), he is one of the smartest people I know and he is “meant to be” the person who lives up to all this amazing potential. He is “meant to be” the most fun and caring father. Who he is right now is a person who buffers his anxiety and other feelings he doesn’t want to feel with alcohol and video games. Who he is right now is a person who does not achieve meaningful progress on his goals, and he shows up half-way as a parent. How I answer the following question (“Why do you imagine they do these things and are this way?”) is very different depending on how I interpret the first question.

PS – I hit “enter” when trying to type this out on my phone and it prematurely submitted my question to you without an actual question so I re-submitted with my actual question attached. Thanks!