Hi coaches — I’m a new SCS member (woohoo!) and have been diving into the ‘How to Feel Better’ material, including doing the exercises. What I’ve started to notice is that when I am experiencing a negative emotion, it’s easy for me to end up in a loop or spiral where the last thing I want to do is any form of thought work, to change the emotional state I’m in.

It’s as though I’m conscious that I could change my thoughts, and part of me wants to, but a bigger part of me doesn’t want to — and so I don’t, and then I create feelings of resentment, anger, self-blame (what’s wrong with me — another thought!) … which leads me to stew on it, and then I definitely don’t want to change how I feel!

Or, put into a model, I guess it would be something like this:

C: I notice I’m experiencing an emotion I don’t want to feel
T: I should do [ a model / a thought download / etc. ] but I don’t want to
F: Resentment, anger, self-blame
A: “Stew” on it (or buffer)
R: I *definitely* don’t do a model / thought download / etc!

It feels like a catch-22; I know that I am thinking the things that am creating this loop, but the very thought that I’d need to change is the one that I am resisting changing. What guidance would you give me on this, to break the loop? Thanks!