Debt payoff goal meaning

What would this additional $7k “prove” about you?

Once I pay off my debt, I will be worthy of marriage

C: I owe $36k to 4 credit cards, 1 personal loan and 2 student loans; boyfriend said he wants to see progress towards paying off debt before getting engaged/married
T: Once I pay off my debt, I will be worthy of marriage
F: inadequate
A: I don’t decide if getting married is what I even want to do with my life. I hang my worthiness on how much money I don’t have and my boyfriend’s opinion of my finances. I feel a sense of urgency to reach my goal. I don’t take massive action towards paying it off. I continue to pay minimums. I overspend and shop to make myself feel better. I don’t talk openly about what I’ve spent my money on. I get up in my boyfriend’s models about how I’m managing my money. I beat myself up for spending money on a fun hobby. Tell myself I knew I would get into a position where I’d have debt, and my partner wouldn’t want to marry me because of it.
R: I sabotage my goal

C: My mom said she and my dad divorced because of money
T: Debt makes you unworthy of marriage (and I have debt)

The weird thing is I imagined this exact scenario many years ago happening in my life. Gosh, it’s almost like thoughts create results