I have decision fatigue. Please help.
The situation is that I am working overseas in a well paying job that (whilst not horrible) I don’t particularly enjoy. It is not a career that I want to continue in. I miss my home country but decided to stay put overseas for another year or two to earn good money in the hope that I can save enough to move home and do something else with my professional life. (I have no idea what at this point but I figured it would be nice to have some time and space to figure out what’s next for me.) It might take a year it two to get me to a financial place that I want to be at.
The problem is that my brain is looping. Every day I am homesick and I am arguing with my decision. I have thoughts like I shouldn’t be doing this for the money. If I am homesick then I should go home and quit the job and accept that money might be tight for a while.
Then I switch and argue with myself that feeling homesick is just a thought and that I should be able to get over it and manage my thoughts. I even persuade myself that I could be open to liking the job if I just managed my thoughts around it. However every time I make progress with having my back on the decision I go right back to the homesickness. The homesickness feels very powerful in my body. Like a constant ache. It feels true to me and causes daily pain to the point of occasional panic attacks. I am trying to manage this with my mind. I know from a logical and rational objective the best thing for my financial future would be to stick it out for another year or so.
Any coaching would be appreciated. I think my model is
C. I live overseas
T I miss home but I need to stick this out because it makes financial sense
F Sadness. Sometimes i panic and feel trapped.
A. Stick it out. White knuckle it. Buffering. Lots and lots of buffering ……
R. My finances improve but the rest of me (health and emotional life) are taking a hit.
Many thanks for any coaching.