My husband and I have different views with regards to our queer 16yo (they are not biological, we are their legal guardian, they are my second cousin).
We are all Christians but my husband thinks it’s “wrong” to be queer and that they need to be fixed. He tells them it’s sinful and they are wrong for being queer. Their relationship is quite strained and it’s causing my teen to feel even more uncomfortable than they already do.
I have a very different view. I do not think it’s “wrong” or that anything needs fixing. My job is to parent, love and support and that is what I do and I have a great relationship with my teen.
The dynamic and different views is causing a lot of strain and disconnect in the household as well as my relationship with my husband. I can see that I am not loving or supporting my husband for his different views. I think he’s wrong. I don’t like the way he’s treating them. I am not happy about the way it’s affecting their mental health.
I think he is harming them and I’m wanting so badly for him to change what he’s doing that I’m thinking about leaving the relationship. But I feel so hesitant about it because here I’m preaching “you should just love and accept” but I’m not loving and accepting him.
Neither my teen nor I trust him. He has blatantly broken trust and justified it using christianity as his crutch. I feel caught in the middle. Like I have to choose. And I choose my teen and I know I’m right in that. But I just don’t know how to proceed from here.