Disorganized Eating and Trust

My meal planning is non existent at the moment as I just returned from vacation and am recovering from being sick.

The biggest thing I realize is I so struggle with the portioning piece and eating enough and even when it’s protein or healthy choices, I feel self-conscious with people seeing how much I’m eating. It’s like an old pattern of trying to eat less so people don’t judge you. It’s obviously an old shame pattern.

Even on my vacation, I was ashamed to ask for “4 eggs” even though I wasn’t eating bread. The more I do this the more I realize there are so many levels to my disorganized eating and distrust of my body. I don’t know how to work through this.