Hello. I’m very new scholars so this model concept is still hard for me to grasp. So here’s a go at asking for help.

I’ve been unhappy in my marriage for the past few years and I think (well my thought is) my husband feels the same.
We have 2 children. Daughter almost 5 years old and son 14 months. Since our daughter has been born my Husband has become a workaholic. Literally, working 7 days a week. He is always working on his laptop when home and his EarPods are always in his ears with his phone attached to his arm. On top of this, he travels almost every second week- for a week at a time.
I am left with the kids and all responsibilities are on me. I also have no help so I never get a break. When my husband is home- the odd time, he’ll cook but that’s it. He spends no time with me or the kids. I’ve often suggested we try to arrange a date night or the very least arrange some alone time together. He’s never once agreed or even referred to the opportunity of “us” time. I feel rejected (and yes I know it’s a thought that causes the feeling) I no longer want to even spend time with him and he with me. At night after the kids are in bed we have the opportunity to be together but he either works, falls asleep on the couch or just goes to bed. We haven’t been intimate for about a year.
For the longest time I resented him for all the time he spent away but now I look forward to it just so I can have my solitude. I do everything anyway with the kids so it no longer bothers me that I’m left alone with all the responsibilities. I no longer feel the resentment. I still love my husband. I feel no hatred or anger towards him, I just feel stuck, isolated and want more for myself and my kids.
When he’s home he yells at my daughter and tells her to be a human being and act like an adult. She’s ONLY 4 YEARS OLD! IF she spills food or a drink on the floor he yells at her to the point that she gets scared. If she cries and expresses her emotion he tells her to shut up and stop crying. She then runs to me cuz I allow her to process her emotions. He then yells at me for always consoling her and tells me I’m doing more harm than good.
Of course my description of him is not the greatest cause I’m focusing on the negative but he is a good man. But with us – his family, he’s distant and defensive. I don’t even try to make conversation with him anymore cause we always end up arguing. He has some strong cultural and religious beliefs about women that I don’t agree with and I feel I have to conform to his beliefs for the sake of our family. Since I met him – 10 years ago, I’ve lost all my friends, have no social life, had to change my entire wardrobe because if I wear anything to revealing or form fitting – according to his standards, he loses his shit. I use enjoy life. Now I feel life is boring when I know it isn’t.
Anyway, to my question…. Could he be feeling the same way? Or is it my thoughts just thinking he is? His actions are definitely telling me something is wrong and so are mine. I am playing victim nor innocent. I completely understand I am responsible for my results and I can see very clearly how my actions have gotten me my results. I’d really want to change my results but I feel I’m stuck. Could he be unhappy as well but will not admit it cause of the kids? I know you don’t have the answers I’m just wondering if there is a thought I can change that will cause a shift in a positive direction for us.
Look forward to seeing your response!