Don’t want to show up in marriage

I’m noticing that I’m judging my husband- he’s insecure, aggressive, dominating, loud, jealous, anxious. I think it’s a problem for me because I’m thinking- he drains my energy, he should be different, I don’t like being around him. I feel overwhelmed, anxious, annoyed and frustrated around him all the time.

I want to be able to believe thoughts that feel connected and loving.

We’re taking our kids to my mom’s house on Friday for 24 hours together, just he and I, and I’m not looking forward to it. I just don’t enjoy time with him lately. I feel like I should and that’s not helping anything. I’d love to get out of my head and be able to love our time together.