Hi Brooke & Friends,

My significant other is pushing me to get engaged after being together for 1.5 years. I do want to get married, but my family barely knows my SO due to living out of state, and we hang out with my SO’s family all the time due to proximity.

My sister sent me a text swarm saying that she thinks we shouldn’t be rushing things when our family hasn’t had much time to spend with my SO. And that things probably won’t go well if we get engaged now. That’s not our fault I feel due to us living several states apart. And my family is not always the most proactive at being welcoming, so that hasn’t been helping things.

Also, we are adults and are allowed to do what’s best for us. I know i can’t control my family’s emotions or reactions. At the same time, I feel overwhelmed and scared when I think about getting engaged due to my family’s potential reactions….and I know getting engaged with launch us into planning mode for a wedding. And I don’t think i’m ready for that when I’m just still working through my own emotions and mind set about the whole thing. i want to be feeling excited and happy when I get engaged. I know I’m able to create these emotions for myself, but not feeling the pieces are in place yet to do so.

I’m struggling to work through my emotions since i’m currently having so many. I want to move forward in a positive direction, whether that’s putting the engagement on hold so that we can spend more time with my family, or effectively communicating with them what is happening so that they at least know to expect that we will get engaged (even if they aren’t ready for it). I’m currently indulging in confusion and my mind is looping since i don’t know which direction to go. My parents both had multiple failed marriages, so i’m afraid of making a wrong move that doesn’t give our relationship a good start towards a marriage.

Help!