Enjoying my life

I have recently uncovered the thought that creates so much desire for buffering in my life “I won’t be able to enjoy today without this”. This comes up on the weekends, at work around 3 o’clock, in the morning. Of course my brain knows this is the most effective thought to keep me grabbing for the buffer. On the other hand, I believe that I should enjoy my life because from that place I’ll be able to create amazing things, but how can I take it out of the hands of the buffer and put it back in my own? The buffer in this case is coffee. I have realized that I need to schedule my weekends with activities that I enjoy like weekend walks in new neighborhoods or SCS work or planned netflix but isn’t this just trying to change the circumstance to get to a new thought and feeling?