Family interpreting my actions as uncaring/selfish

I understand I am not responsible for anyone else’s feelings but am absolutely responsible for my actions. I choose not to visit long distance family members as often or for as long as they wish and am often told I am uncaring/selfish. I get that they are attempting to control my behavior so that they feel happier. I feel uncomfortable when they tell me I am uncaring/selfish and realize that this is due to my thoughts about what they said.

I am learning:
I don’t have to let their thoughts about me influence my thoughts and, consequently, feelings about myself.
I can handle feeling uncomfortable.
I can let myself see the truth in what they are saying. Yes, at times I do act uncaring/selfish.

Thank you for your comments.