I went home to see family last weekend. I’ve not lived home for 15 years and it’s a bit of a challenge for me to go back because I’ve changed and grown so much since I’ve been gone and it appears (at least to me) that they are all exactly the same, no growth. I am the youngest and I think they still view me as a child even though I’m 50. Below are my models I used during the time I was there. These people really are just there for me to love, and my pushing against them and being hypervigilant about “proving my point” isn’t loving to myself or to them. What a relief to just let them be who they are and to keep my mouth and my opinions to myself. Now, I am not saying i want to visit every 6 months; however, it went so much smoother doing it this way than previous visits!

C Visit to family
T This was a horrible idea
F Anxious
A Look for evidence of their non-evolvement, withdraw from conversations, keep myself small, stay on guard for their infractions
R I don’t enjoy the visit

C Visit to family
T It will be nice to see them
F Open
A Engage in conversation, meet them where they are, be receptive to them, actively listen, notice how much I love them
R I enjoy the visit