Fear that someone will be mad at me

I’m having dinner tonight with an old colleague I used to hook up with. It has been years. He is in town visiting, and I think he is going to want me to invite him up to my place, even just to see it. I do not want him to come up here.

I’m having trouble with what exactly to work on in the model. Some thoughts are:

“He’s going to be mad if I don’t invite him up”
“If he’s mad, that is okay – I can handle it”
“If he’s mad, it’s my fault”

These thoughts just don’t really fit in a model nicely.

What I want to believe is that I can hold my boundary, be loving, and say no.

But I’m pretty far away from that.

I’m trying to do like, a thought ladder, but I don’t really know what my starting thought is. If I say no, he’s going to be mad, maybe? But that actually MIGHT be true.

So I’m feeling a little uncertain about where to start a ladder for this.

Any direction is appreciated.